Any other moms out there find yourself in a haze of comparison after binge watching perfect social media moms clean and organize their immaculate homes? Did you find yourself longingly watching their curated routines muttering to yourself “how come I can’t get up at 5am to work out, take my vitamin cocktail, make breakfast and prep lunches?” , “how come my house is a chaotic clusterfuck while their house has aesthetically pleasing clutter over perfectly curated furniture?” , “how do they have the energy to deep clean their house regularly while I can barely keep my floors mopped?”

Is it just me? Well, it’s not the me of today but the me of 5years ago when I had a newborn, 2yo and 6yo. I gave myself marginal grace considering I’d just had a baby and had 2 under 2 for a short 3months. Then, for the next 3years I set these women as the standard. If they could do it, I could do it.

I failed…miserably.

I realize that what I see online is a carefully edited highlight reel. But, I thought that maybe I could have my own highlight reel. I thought, highlight reels are made from a collection of real moments. I pushed myself to do more, to be more productive, to be better. What followed was burn out and depression.

No shade to these social media moms. I’m no hater. I’m glad that they have found what works for them and they are making money doing it. But, I’ve since learned that I’m an interesting combo of OCD and ADHD. I need routine and yet lack the ability to stick to rigidity. Some days I’m amazingly productive, while other days I can hardly do the bare minimum. I also learned that after 1 pregnancy in fight or flight mode followed by 2 pregnancies back to back and breastfeeding round the clock, I was heavily nutrient deficient. Not to mention I’m not anywhere near the tax bracket of the moms I had set as standard. Who knows what kind of support they have behind the scenes. I’m sure they can afford to support their mental and physical health in ways I can’t even imagine.

I have learned to let go of my long held standard and it’s opened me up to figuring out what works for me and my family. Deleting IG and unsubscribing on YT has certainly helped. Connecting with irl mom friends has made a huge difference in helping me understand that I’m not alone. We’re all swimming in a sea of chaos figuring things out one day, or one moment, at a time.

I’m still unlearning. I’ve finally decided to release control and do things as I can, when I can. This is even more chaotic than trying to do things on a schedule or routine but I’m much more productive than I have been and I think we’re starting to settle into something naturally. It also helps me go with the flow of things since there is always something coming up and knocking me off course. It has led to more creativity and laughter. More connected moments. If you needed a reminder that you aren’t alone in the chaos, this is it. I’m here too and so are all of my friends.

In this episode we talk about how I’m slow living through the summertime, how to work with the upcoming Mercury Retrograde and letting go of the need to control.

Like, Subscribe and Comment if this episodes card pull resonates with you!

Find Slow Living Chronicles on Youtube and Substack

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@slowlivingchronicles

Substack: https://slowlivingchronicles.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips

Chapter 3

Shayla’s POV

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Chapter Two

Shayla Montgomery

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Chapter One

Shayla Montgomery

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Welcome to Season 1 Episode 1 of Earth’s Child Podcast!

Earth’s Child is a monthly podcast about slow living and living in tune with Earths Cycles.

Intro 00:00
January Reflection 00:15
February Forecast 07:59
Oracle Card Pull 13:12

Comfy Cozy Witch Podcast
Apple Podcasts:

Spotify:

The Comfy Cozy Witch Oracle Deck

Follow me on YouTube


Email Me! slowlivingchronicles@mailbox.org

Hello Friends,

I’ve been hearing this term analog life over and over lately. I guess that’s the popular term for being intentional about how we use technology, often times opting for single use devices instead of our smart phones. I’ve been working on adopting a slower paced lifestyle for years. I know there are, of course, mixed feelings about the trendiness of “analog living”. I remember the days when zero waste living was first becoming trendy. The people who had been doing it for awhile sometimes looked down on the newcomers. I get it, I do. But I try not to be that way. I know that once the “trend” is over, some will move on to the next shiny thing but there will be a group of people who have actually made lifestyle shifts and I am happy for that.

Anyhow, while slow living isn’t new to me I recently made a change switching from my iPhone to a flip phone.

I figured (since it’s so trendy gasp) I could go into more detail about what living an analog life is like for me, and what single use devices I use now, instead of my phone. I would like to say that whenever possible buying secondhand or repurposing is best, but for the sake of transparency I bought my things new or used what I already had around the house.

• Flip Phone - I got an AT&T Cingular Flex 2 unlocked. My iPhone was paid off and I planned to keep it, I also had zero intention of keeping my TMobile line so the $60 upfront investment was worth how much I would be saving a month. I somehow ended up with a phone that had wifi and browser capabilities but when I set it up, I simply disabled it. I pay $8/month for unlimited calling and text, zero data.

• House Phone - Getting a house phone was essential. We got a basic cordless one that lives under the living room tv because the base needs to be plugged into the wifi router. That kind of sucks, I wanted a cute retro one in the kitchen but alas, it won’t work if it’s not wired into the router. If I’m at home, my cell is usually turned off. I’m home about 2-3days out of the work week but that can vary depending on our homeschool schedule.

• Camera - I have a Sony ZV-1F digital camera. This is the camera that I got last year for vlogging. It’s not top of the line or anything, but its compact and takes decent enough pictures as well as video. Instead of my phone, I use my camera for picture taking. At first, when I needed to take a picture and email it for my homeschool co-op duties, I immediately thought it would be a pain to use the camera. I had to take out the SD card, put it into the computer, upload the file and then attach it to the email. In reality it didn’t take more than a few minutes. This works just fine.

• Tiny journal - I swooped up a cute little black journal at our local grocery store for $1.99. I keep it in my purse with a pen so that I can jot things down when I need to. I also use it for my grocery lists. I used to use a combination of shopping apps to build my grocery lists, and “check them off” in the app while I shopped at the store. Now I have an old fashioned list in my journal and my 10yo uses a small calculator to add up the items as we shop.

• Clip board with scrap paper - Free.99 I already had a clip board covered in toddler doodles and stickers. This is so basic but I used to either use the notes app in my phone, or pull up the browser when I had a thought or question. If I had something to tell my husband or a friend I would shoot a text. It stopped me in my tracks and I would end up on my phone, easily distracted by social media. Now I write it down on my clip board (or my little journal if I’m not at home) and check it out later on my computer if it’s really that important. If I need to send something to a friend, I can do that from my computer too.

• iPod Touch - My iPhone 13Pro. My home screen has Tidal, Libby, Apple Podcasts, my period app and an astrology app. That’s it. All other apps are in my app library. It basically forced me to keep certain apps to mirror my laptop and watch. Then there are a few that I need, my kids banking app (it only has app access unfortunately), Cash App, our home security app, the Mill app to control our food composter, and Sam’s Club (I lost my physical card). The first day my cell service was cut off, I was still getting lots of notifications so I use Opal app to basically lock everything except Tidal, Libby, and Apple Podcasts. I can unlock it when/if necessary. Thankfully Tidal, Libby and Apple Podcasts all have the ability to download within the app so I can still listen on the go. My kids are VERY thankful to still have music in the car.

• Apple Watch - I love my watch and I couldn’t let it go. It helps me keep track of time during the day (duh) but I also use it to set timers frequently. My kids need timers to help them transition from one task to another. Timers help me too. I didn’t want to pull my phone out every time I needed to use a timer, and since I already had the watch, it just made sense to keep it. I wear it M-F and usually leave it off on weekends. I have notifications off, so I don’t get iMessage alerts and that helps keep me focused on the present. since writing this I got my kids two mechanical kitchen timers. One for upstairs and one for downstairs and they use those now

• Alarm Clock - I used to use my phone as my alarm clock. I have one of those docking stations for my phone and watch. I realized that I didn’t want to go to sleep and wake up next to my phone. I got a really cute sunrise alarm clock and put the docking station downstairs on my desk. Now, before bed, my phone and watch are charging in the office. I grab them in the morning after I’ve done my morning routine. The alarm clock works wonders when I actually intend to get up early.

• Book Light - I still sit next to my 10yo until he falls asleep at night. For a long time, I used this time to mindlessly scroll social media. Then I started reading books, but I needed a light to do it since his room is dark. I used my phone light, not the flashlight, but just the screen light. My husband got me a simple book light to use instead so that I wouldn’t be dependent on my phone.

• Address Book - I have a little black address book to help me keep track of things because I refused to type up birthdays and addresses in my flip phone. I keep it right under the house phone. I realized that I should transfer the birthdays to the digital calendar connected to my email. Phone numbers are saved in my cell, home phone, and apple contacts, but I really use this little book when I write letters, send cards or gifts and need addresses.

• GPS Device - One major reason I didn’t think I could give up service to my iPhone was because I would need it to access GPS. Back in my day *wink* we used mapquest and printed out directions. I can’t go back to that. But I remembered that GPS does exist outside of my phone. I ordered a GPS device online and my husband installed it in my van for me. It’s not as user friendly as Maps when it comes to looking things up, so I need to make sure I have an exact address to type in. When going somewhere new, I look up the address on my computer and write it down so I can input it into the system. If it’s somewhere I’m going to be going to a lot, I save it to favorites. I haven’t figured out how to connect it to my speaker system so I don’t hear the voice through the car speakers. BUT I find the visual directions to be much clearer then the Maps app so I don’t need to hear it anyway.

• Laptop - Thank the heavens for my laptop! I don’t think I would have been able to fully commit without my macbook air. I use iMessage, FaceTime, Discord and Band to keep in touch. I still use the Notes app. I access email, YouTube, Substack, my bank, the News and weather on my laptop. But it reminds me of the days that the internet lived on a heavy desktop in a corner of the living room.

That brings me to the point of all of this. When I announced to my kids that this change was happening, my 10yo had the most questions. He didn’t understand why I couldn’t just have a “regular phone”. He doesn’t even have a phone, but still felt anxiety over the whole situation. I asked him if he noticed that I was always on my phone. He said no. My 6yo chimed in with a clear YES. I explained to them that when I grew up, we didn’t have the internet at our fingertips. I told him that I missed that. Simple as that. He didn’t get it. He’s grown up with it. But for me, I can’t believe it took me so long to make the switch.

Social Media

I deleted all my Meta Accounts, so I no longer use FB or Instagram. I also never got into TikTok or Twitter. I use Substack and YouTube on my computer. This helped make the decision easier for me because I had already made up my mind about how I wanted to use social media.

Next Steps

There are two areas that I want to make improvements in. One is fairly easy, the other will take some time.

Easy - I have gotten VERY caught up in audio books. I borrow audio books from my library through the libby app. It’s almost instant gratification and I can listen all day. I finish books quickly and then immediately move on to the next. I have gotten in the habit of bringing my phone up to bed so I can listen to an audio book. My 2026 goal is to only listen to audiobooks after I get a physical copy from the library. 1) it forces me to wait for the physical hold to come in, delaying that gratification and 2) I reduce the amount of time I’m listening vs reading physical material. No more bringing the phone up stairs and listening as I fall asleep. No more listening while curled on the couch with my kids. I have a physical book to read.

Harder - In 2026 I want to cancel my Tidal subscription. I’m tired of paying for streaming services. Don’t get me started on the TV, that affects my whole family, but I pay $14.99 each month for Tidal. For music artists that are rich and famous, my plan is to borrow their CDs from the library, add them to Apple Music and burn a physical copy for myself. (yes y’all, my dad still has a CD burner!) I come from the Limewire generation and I don’t mind burning CDs. For smaller or indie arts, I’ll pay for their music up front to add it to my collection. I value paying artists for their work. I want to have that physical media, but using Apple Music makes it easy to play music in the car without carrying CDs around. Maybe I’ll get a little boombox for the kitchen that I can use instead of bluetooth. The sky’s the limit here!

Analog and slow living seems to be trending and even though this isn’t new for me me, I’m no hater! I’m here for it, and I hope that its trendiness shows that the collective is ready to shift into a new way of being. Jump on the bandwagon friends!

Welcome to our regenerative living series! Today, we are discussing Sustainable Living.

If you missed the first few posts in the series check them out here: Conscious Consumerism, Holistic Health, The Importance of Community, Transforming Your Mindset, What is regenerating living?

Sustainable Living

Most of the time when someone mentions an eco-friendly lifestyle this is what comes to mind. A life full of composting, buying things in bulk using reusable containers, fancy cloth produce bags, cabinets stocked with matching glass jars. Very aesthetic. Very cool. Very hip and trendy. Sure, some of these things can be happening but that’s not exactly what it’s about. The best advice about Zero Waste living I ever got was Stephanie Millers book Zero Waste Living the 80/20 Way. I like to revisit this book every January because in our house, November and December produces the most waste. I haven’t really figured out how to fully transition our holidays to low waste in a way that works for everyone so years ago I made a deal with myself that I would do my best all year long and give myself grace for November and December. This year I stopped using disposables for our holiday parties. I use the same holiday decor year after year and both of those things help significantly but I haven’t quite gotten to gift giving. Now that the New Year is here and our family is easing back into our regular routine, its the perfect time to revisit my sustainability goals.

Zero Waste Living the 80/20 Way

Chapters 1 and 5 are an introduction and sort of wrap up. Chapters 2,3 and 4 are the bulk of it.

Chapter 2: Focus on Food

Chapter 3: Purge Plastics

Chapter 4: Recycle Right

“80/20” is based on the business principle that “80 percent of business comes from 20 percent of clients.” (zero waste living the 80/20 way) Stephanie wonders what would be the 80/20 of zero waste living and spends the book dissecting that. It really resonated with me because it’s impossible to be perfectly zero waste. I won’t go too deeply into what she finds because I would rather you read her book! She is very kind, and knowledgeable and emails me every now and then. She is based in DC and it was published in 2021 so some of what works for her won’t apply to me. I live in Ohio and we have different food safety laws here. So instead, I will share where I am in each category and what I would like to focus on for 2026.

Focus on Food

1. Food Waste

In our kitchen we compost using our Mill. Since we started using it last June we have diverted 354 lbs of food waste from our local landfill. On average our Mill, affectionately called Munchie Monster, processes 50 lbs of food scraps per month. We drop our Mill grounds to a local community compost site. While those are impressive numbers, the reality is our family wastes a lot of food by not eating up left overs or letting produce go bad. This year I would like to do better at actually eating the food we are buying. Yes it does go into the compost, but thats a waste of money and resources. The Mill takes energy to process scraps and there is a lot of unseen labor and resources that go into getting food into the grocery stores. It would be better for the environment, and my wallet, if we were less wasteful. This covers 2 of 3 focus on food initiatives, composting and reducing food waste.

2. Plant based diet

The 3rd initiative is to eat less meat. It is true that animals bred for meat produce an alarming amount of carbon. I’ve deep dived into this subject and I personally don’t believe this is as black and white a topic as the numbers suggest. While “vegan meat” is certainly innovative, I also don’t think it’s necessarily a better option. That is to be debated (it’s a polarizing, heavily debated conversation and I will not add to that). My humble opinion is, we should all be eating more diverse diets and we can all benefit from adding more fruits and vegetables to our plate. I also believe that locally raised meat from animals raised on farms with regenerative farming practices actually helps sequester carbon and positively impact the environment. I also understand that the regular fruit and vegetables in the grocery store are not nearly as nutrient dense as they would have been a few generations ago. This is due in part, to soil depletion and modern intensive agriculture techniques. If you can afford to eat local, regeneratively grown and raised meats, dairy and produce, then prioritize that. But for many of us, that is a luxury we cannot afford. Take this information, do your research and do what works for you. For our family (this is no shade to what works or doesn’t work for your family, to each their own no judgement zone) I would like to start making one meatless meal a week. That would be an extreme change for us, so I’m going to start out with simply adding a larger variety of fruits and vegetables to our diet. We somehow got into the rut of eating meat, cheese and carbs with a sprinkling of fruits and vegetables. In 2026 I would like to see that change.

Purge Plastics

Here, Stephanies advice is to just pick on thing to focus on and slowly let it grow. In our house we already have tackled plastic in a variety of ways.

1. We don’t buy packaged water bottles, we use an under the sink reverse osmosis water filter.

2. We don’t buy sparkling water, we use a soda stream.

3. We typically don’t use paper towels or paper napkins, we use cloth.

4. We use reusable glass or stainless steel straws.

5. We don’t use disposable plates, bowls, cups or cutlery for parties or get togethers at our home (though that is the time that we do use paper napkins)

6. I typically don’t use plastic wrap or aluminum foil (there are a few exceptions though).

7. Almost all of our cleaning products are plastic free, we use Blueland and Zero Waste Store.

8. We use plastic free, compostable dish cleaning brushes and sponges.

9. I don’t use plastic disposable razors, I have a safety razor and stainless steel dermaplaning razor with replacement blades.

10. We use Who Gives a Crap brand toilet paper that has plastic free packaging.

11. We use cloth coffee filters and a stainless steel filter for tea.

For some this list may seem impressive and for others it may be the bare minimum depending on where you are on your low waste journey. We’ve come a long way in several areas but we’ve also stepped back in others. For example, we no longer get our milk in glass from a milk man, cloth diaper or use bar shampoo and conditioner. All things that, at one time, were our normal. If I’m honest, I haven’t quite figured out what the next step should be for us when it comes to reducing our waste. I think for now, I may focus more on adding things to our life that will help add to our backyard eco-system. That would include starting our garden, using our Mill grounds to start our own backyard compost bin, possibly getting bees or chickens, and growing local plants.

Recycle Right

I could go on and on…and ON about the inefficiencies of recycling here in the US. Stephanie certainly breaks it down in her book, so I won’t focus on that here. That’s another deep dive. However, the point of this chapter is to understand your local waste stream. Each curbside bin collection is different. If you have curbside recycling, know what it takes. Some takes glass and some don’t. Some take clamshell containers (the thin plastic boxes berries and lettuce come in) but some don’t. Pizza boxes are a no for my local bin. My husband will often put something in, and when I remind him it isn’t recyclable, he will say “well it says here on the package that it is”. Don’t rely on the packaging or it can contaminate the whole recycle bin. Don’t “wishcyle” or put something in the bin that you are unsure of hoping that it can be recycled.

My goal is to recycle more. I find that I throw things away that could be recycled because I don’t feel like cleaning it out. That is pure laziness and I can do better. Items must be clean and dry before going in the recycle and if I’m washing dishes anyway, I can take an extra minute or two to wash our empty salsa jar.

I’m looking forward to making sustainable changes for 2026 and sharing them with you here! New vlogs and podcast episodes are coming soon, so be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out! If you have questions, please drop them in the comments below!

Hello friends,

For months I’ve considering leaving my iPhone behind for a smart phone. I’d spotted a few posts about it on Substack and I read with a hint of jealousy. I often found myself scrolling Instagram only to feel depressed, stressed out, and bad about myself. I frequently watched Netflix or Disney from my phone while washing dishes and doing chores, increasingly more disconnected from my kids during the day. I stood at the kitchen counter texting with no idea how much time was passing, checked emails first thing in the morning. Like most of us, I used my phone for banking, for taking notes, for taking pictures, for GPS, for shopping, making grocery lists. My phone was glued to my hands.

In October I recognized the signs of depression. I’ve dealt with depression long enough to know what needed to be done. I got a prescription for anti-depressants and scheduled a therapy appointment. I downloaded the Opal app and set limits to my screen time. It helped a little but after a particularly bad day of being locked to my phone, ending in doom scrolling IG before sleep I finally said ENOUGH. I was going to make a change that, at the time, seemed drastic. I was done with my smartphone.

The Plan

It seemed simple really. I found a basic plan, $8 a month for unlimited calling and texts, no data. Then I bought a flip phone online, connected the sim and switched my number over. I installed a GPS device into my van. Almost all of my close friends and family have iPhones so regular texting switched to my laptop from my Apple ID. I also use discord desktop app for communication. When I’m at home, I use the house phone. When I leave the house, I turn on the flip phone. I check my laptop periodically throughout the day. I even got a sunrise alarm clock, and moved my phone and watch charging station from my bedside table to my office desk.

Since it’s paid off, I kept my iPhone for music, audiobooks and podcasts. I deleted all of my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I decided I would put all of my attention into Substack and YouTube but deleted both apps and opted for using them from my laptop. I deleted everything else that wasn’t necessary. I kept Opal to block everything that was needed, but could be a distraction except Tidal, Libby, Apple Podcasts and my period tracking app. I turned off all push notifications.

The Reality

I had everything in place, and my plan seemed solid. My iPhone has turned into a glorified iPod Touch. I still use my apple watch 5 days out of the week but I get zero notifications to it, its just for the time/date and to set timers for the kids. I must say, this has been one of the best decisions I’ve made this year. My mental health has greatly improved, and I feel more connected to my family. However, it hasn’t been seamless. My mom often texts me and it goes to my flip phone, instead of my laptop. I have a few friends who are android users and texting on a flip phone is not fun at all. On Thanksgiving, I had my laptop open in the kitchen while I cooked, carefully checking for iMessages from family and friends who were coming. We needed to coordinate last minute grocery runs, carpool information, and weather updates. I eventually unblocked iMessage on my iPhone and turned the ringer up. Similarly, when meeting friends for playdates, switching from iMessage on my laptop at home to texting on my flip phone once we’ve left, isn’t always seamless. It’s all doable though. We’re figuring it out. I haven’t lost touch with my friends. I’m happier and more confident. I laugh more and I’m much more present in the moment. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

I’ll likely do another update after a few months, but I don’t see myself going back. Are you interested in letting go of your smart phone? What’s holding you back? Let me know if you have any thoughts or questions!

Shayla Montgomery has worked hard to build her tech business from the ground up. She builds the tech for Miami smart homes in brand new housing developments. She is independent and successful, finally living life on her terms after her cheating ex-husband broke her heart.

At 35, she is the ultimate boss, living it up in Miami. She started her life over …

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Hello Friends,

As I work on the first few chapters of my first Collinwood Series, I have become more and more nervous about AI scrubbing. I know I don’t have full control over it, but I’ve heard that putting up a paywall adds an extra level of protection. However, I never intended to charge for this series, or any of my work really, not at this early stage. Eventually, I would love to host climate fiction workshops and publish books. I’m just not there yet. For now, I’m going to use Substacks built in paywall feature while continuing to make my content free. I will leave a link to my tip jar at the bottom of these restricted posts for anyone that feels inclined to share a few dollars to show that you enjoy my writing.

For Current Subscribers

You will all be gifted a free paid subscription which will give you access to the new Collinwood Series when it comes out in the New Year, and anything related to it that is behind the paywall.

For New Friends

If you are new here and just browsing, welcome! I’m glad you’re here! If you are interested, go ahead and subscribe with a FREE subscription, and I will gift you a paid subscription to give you access to Collinwood. Since I have to do this manually, please give me 24-48hrs to send the free paid subscription.

I hope this system works! It’s my way to add a layer of protection to my writing while keeping it free. I’m excited to start posting consistently in January. Enjoy the holiday season!

As a parent, environmentalist, and (sparingly) hopeful realist, I have spent a lot of time wondering what a positive future could look like. Since I have been exploring fiction writing again, I’ve been curious to use my writing to explore what it would take to create this positive future.

• How would it feel for a community to really get to know each other and rely on each other?

• What if mutual aid wasn’t just for communities of need, but the foundation for a whole town or city?

• What would it look like for a whole town or city to come together, not only protect our eco-system, but to prioritize the health and natural growth of it?

• Can we enjoy the conveniences of the modern world, without exploiting people and resources?

• Is it possible for technology to be safe and ethical?

I figured it could be fun to explore this with a small town romance (or a few because I have several characters swirling in my head).

I’m excited to officially introduce my fictional town of Collinwood. Collinwood is a small town where neighbors actually know each other, front lawns grow food, parks are filled with local pollinators in mind, and rain gardens keep the watershed clean. Life moves just a little slower. Relaxation, joy and laughter are worth more than money. Bartering and sharing is the norm. Giving and excepting help isn’t awkward. Food grows in yards. Eggs, meat and dairy are ethically harvested locally. Real food and genuine community feeds the soul.

Collinwood represents the future that I believe we can build with regenerative living in mind. It isn’t perfect, because life just isn’t, but I believe that these stories have the possibility to show that little changes matter. The seeds we plant today, help build a foundation for future generations.

I’m working on my first story and can’t wait to start sharing chapters with you soon. 2026 is going to be a big year with my goal to make content, slowly, but more consistently. This includes writing chapters for the first series in Collinwood.

I can’t wait to meet you in Collinwood,

I specified that this is a low waste Christmas DINNER because our Christmas is generally not low waste. The gifts, the wrapping paper, and endless Amazon deliveries prove that I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to the holidays. But around here, I think it’s important to take things one step at a time.

A few weeks ago I shared that I was ready to ditch paper plates and plastic cups and silverware for our gatherings. I had a pretty plan and I was super excited to thrift some new plates and bowls. Now, Thanksgiving is over. My out of town family has gone back home. The Christmas tree is up, and it’s time to start planning Christmas dinner. This is the perfect time to reflect and see what worked, what didn’t, and how I can make it better for Christmas.

I went to the thrift store to hunt for plates and bowls. My goal was to get enough for a large gathering, something that was dishwasher safe, and something that would work for all seasons. I avoided anything that shouted Holidays because I intend to use these for birthday parties as well. To my surprise, I didn’t find much of anything that was labeled dishwasher safe. Instead of ceramic plates, I found mostly fine china. I got it anyway. They didn’t all match but I found things that complimented each other. I got two different sizes of plates and bowls so that some could be for meals and some would be for desserts or appetizers. (no I’ve never served appetizers in my life but we LOVE dessert) I also ended up with way more glass cups than we probably need. At first I worried about not having a china cabinet. When my grandmother passed I didn’t take her old one, which was filled with dolls not china, because we didn’t have the room. That is still true. But I trusted that I would figure that out later. It probably would have been less stressful and more cost effective to go to the thrift store multiple times and get a little at a time. Since I’m not a sane individual, I spent a ridiculous amount of money (we distracted the kids with the toy aisle) and got everything all at once. The built in’s in our living room ended up being perfect for storage and it took little time to rearrange and make space.

Now for the particulars of Thanksgiving. I’ll make a list. We love a list.

Things that went well

• We had more than enough plates and cups.

• Thank God, the china did just fine in the dishwasher on the delicate cycle.

• Everyone mostly understood the instructions. Food went into the compost. Plates and silverware stacked on the counter.

• I didn’t need to run the dishwasher while we gathered.

• In the past we would have filled at least 2-3 trash bags by the end of the night. This year, we filled just ONE.

• Everyone had fun and felt like the plates were fancy.

• Clean up at the end of the night wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

Things that didn’t go well

• I waited until the last minute to put the plates in the dishwasher. The delicate cycle took longer than I intended. I didn’t get every thing in but it worked out because we had less guests due to weather.

• I planned to have an empty sink full of hot water so everyone could stack their dirties in the sink. My sink was instead filled with pots and pans from last minute cooking. Everyone stacked their dirties wherever they could find room.

• We ran out of silverware and I had to pull out plastic cutlery. Thankfully we had some left over from another party. I thought I had my grandmothers good silver but when I opened the case I was shocked to find it only had 4 forks, no spoons, and a handful of butter knives. Where did they go? Not sure.

• I had soda and sparkling water in cans. Everything needs to be rinsed and dried before going in the recycle. It all went in the trash.

• Napkins still found their way into the recycle. While it is paper, we can’t recycle soiled napkins. So I had to dig them out and sort them into the trash after everyone left.

What did I learn?

• I need to make the food earlier but if I’m being completely honest with myself, I always manage to be late to everything. So maybe the better solution would be to have a bus bin instead of expecting the sink to be empty.

• I need to get more silverware.

• Instruct everyone to put cans in the aforementioned bus bin.

• WASH EVERYTHING THE DAY BEFORE.

• I can’t expect perfection from my guests, but everyone really did try their best. Digging a few napkins out of the recycle is not a big deal.

I’m incredibly thankful that we finally made the switch. It might feel like it’s not a big deal in comparison to our Amazon Christmas lists (I’m coming for that next year!) but we saved two trash bags worth of junk from ending up in the landfill and we host all the holidays and birthday parties for our family at our house. That’s a lot of trash in a year that we are now avoiding. Not to mention money spent on paper and plastic for each gathering. We still have a long way to go, but this is a WIN.

If you’re interested in more information about regenerative living, I’m your girl! Feel free to drop any questions or thoughts you have down in the comments. I look forward to sharing more about our low waste adventures after the New Year!

Ever since my husband and I bought our first home, and my parents downsized from their house to an apartment, we have hosted all the holiday’s, birthdays and family gatherings. As the oldest of daughter of 5 siblings, the first to marry and have kids, it seemed like a natural progression. I enjoy hosting our family and friends, but it always takes a lot out of me. While we started to go low waste in our every day lives, it never fully translated to our gatherings. While we do have a dining table, usually at parties some folks are at the table, some are using a TV tray watching a movie or sports game, some people are outside, while some are in our sitting room next to the fire place. Paper plates, plastic cups, food scraps and disposable silverware just made sense. They filled large trash bags at the end of every holiday and birthday party. I tried to switch to plastic, encourage folks to use the compost and leave their plates for me to rinse and recycle. Even with clear labeling and instructions, food ended up in the recycle bin, plastic ended up in the compost bin and most things got thrown away.

This year, I want to make a change. Maybe it’s the anti-depressants keeping me from feeling stressed. Maybe I’m just extra inspired. But this year for Thanksgiving we are going low waste and bypassing paper plates, plastic cups and disposable silverware. Thanksgiving has heavy and hearty food that usually requires folks to double up on their paper plates. This meal isn’t the basic pizza or light tacos of a birthday party. My dad usually will request a proper plate, cup and silverware anyway.

This is the plan for our low waste Thanksgiving:

Get extra stacks of plates and bowls in different sizes, cups and silverware

We’re headed to the thrift store to pick out plates and things. No matching sets required, I love the whimsy of a mitch match set. We are getting plenty because I know that 1) some folks don’t like their food to touch and will need multiple plates , 2) folks getting seconds typically want a clean and fresh plate and silverware, 3) cups get forgotten about and discarded. No writing on plastic cups with sharpies anymore.

Creating a plan for cleaning

My plan is to have one side of our sink filled with warm water. Not soapy, because we use bar dishsoap and the suds don’t work that way. As the sink fills up, I’ll load the dishwasher and run a quick cycle. That way, we are cleaning as we go and everyone can see that the plates and things are fresh, clean and sanitized.

Compost

We have a Mill food recycler and 2, 5gal bins with lids that we use to hold the Mill grounds until we take them to our neighborhood drop off compost bin. I will make sure both the Mill and at lease one of the bins are empty so that food scraps can easily be scraped from plates into the bins.

Communication

Before anyone starts eating, I will explain what is going on. Everyone is used to paper and plastic and just throwing everything away. In the past, using plastic and asking people to recycle was too confusing and required too much sorting. Before having a Mill and moved into a new city, our old neighborhood compost didn’t compost cheese, meat, bones or pits. Trying to expect guests to remember that they could slide some foods into the compost, but not other things was also too much. This time, since we are using glass and ceramics, it’s easy not to throw it away. Thankfully our Mill and our local compost service accepts almost everything so the instructions are simple. Scrape your plate into the compost and put everything in the sink.

Paper Napkins

We aren’t perfect. At first I considered using fabric napkins because that’s what we use everyday anyway. But I realized that the system we use for our napkins wouldn’t work for large gatherings, and we would need A LOT of napkins for folks to just use one, then throw it in the sink and grab another one if/when they need it. For now, we’ll just use paper napkins and call it a day.

If this new system works, we will continue it for all of our holidays and gatherings. I’m optimistic that this year, our holiday parties will have much less waste and our curbside bin won’t be so full at the end of the week. I’m looking forward to sharing out it goes in part 2.

Now, let me run to the thrift store!

Why are women reading sex, smut, erotica, and/or steamy literature? Because it matters. It’s fun, it’s arousing, it’s liberating. If you get it, you get it. We could have an entirely different conversation about the quality of erotica on the market these days. The nuance differences between smut, erotica, steamy content etc. I’ll save this for another time because that isn’t the point here. However, before we get into it, let me tell you a story.

When I was in college, a friend of mine was selling sex toys and would host parties similar to Mary Kay but for dildos and vibrators. I went to one of her parties to support her (and see if there was anything I might like) and I learned something shocking. Many women have either never had an orgasm or could only have one when pleasuring themselves without a partner. I was surprised because personally I did not have this problem. I reached an orgasm almost every time I had intercourse. What set me aside from the average woman?

After much consideration, I connected the dots. I read steamy literature in middle school. I kept the books hidden away and made sure no one knew I was reading them. (no, I don’t recommend teenagers jump on that bandwagon but that’s a story for another day) I knew how to pleasure myself, well before I was ever with a partner. I knew what I liked, and once I started having sexual partners, I had the confidence to go after what I liked. The women in the books I read were bold, they felt deserving of pleasure, and they made sure that this mutual experience was pleasurable for them. They also felt safe. From reading the stories of these fictional women, I learned that my own pleasure mattered and that I must take it into my own hands. I must communicate what I want, in the moment, without shame. I must make consent and safety a priority. So that’s what I did. Not to suggest that I never had negative experiences, or didn’t have to learn the hard way to listen to my body when it said no. These books were also not replacements for healthy and age appropriate sexual education (My mother was very good about that). Most times I wish I would have waited until I was older and my frontal lobe more developed before embarking on, well…. Any of these experiences. I digress. Sex in literature taught me that I deserve not only a safe and pleasurable sexual experience, but maximum orgasm. And so, I made it my business to get it.

Sex in literature is important because it gives us a safe space to learn about different kinks, explore what we like (and don’t like) and it teaches us to stand up for ourselves in the bedroom. Society has taught us that our pleasure doesn’t matter. In general, the wants and needs of women don’t matter. Specifically, in the bedroom, society expects us to accept whatever men give us, to be sex symbols for them, and to prioritize their pleasure. I call bullshit, and so do the ladies in the books I read. So will the ladies in the stories that I write.

Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable.

Welcome to our regenerative living series! Today, we are discussing Conscious Consumerism.

If you missed the first few posts in the series check them out here: Holistic Health, The Importance of community, Mindset, What is regenerating living?

Disclaimer.

Unless you have been living under a rock I’m sure you’ve heard the term minimalism tossed around. It’s an emotionally charged debate online and I am not here to add to that fire. It’s my belief that the heart of minimalism isn’t about an aesthetic but about being mindful about our purchases. Are we purchasing to fill a void or because we need something? Let me be clear, I love knick knacks and seasonal decor. We are a family of 5, each of us have hobbies. Our kids have TOYS. My husband loves clothes, shoes and hats. We have STUFF. Earth’s Child is a no judgement zone, I’m not checking your closets. Ok, now that we have that cleared up, let’s dig in.

Conscious Consumerism

Here in the United States we live in a culture of STUFF. My 6yo has the bug, he likes getting things more than he likes having things. That is the cultural norm. What does that have to do with regenerative living? Well there are several reasons but it comes down to this:

1. Almost all of our stuff ends up in a landfill at the end of its life. Most of our stuff is not made to last and has to be repurchased over and over again.

2. All of our stuff takes resources to build or make. There is no magic wand to wave and create things. Energy and labor exchanges are always involved.

3. We are stuck in a wasteful cycle of buying and throwing away, our Eco-System (and inhuman living & working conditions) are paying the cost.

We can zoom out and see how this cycle of waste is detrimental to our society but let’s zoom in for a moment and focus on our own homes.

Making better shopping choices

It can be easy for me to sit here and preach to shop local, stop buying things you don’t really need, and stop buying things from big corporate conglomerates who don’t care about humanity or the environment. We both know it isn’t that easy. I like to take a month to track our purchases and see where our money is even going. After that, are there things that can be swapped for local businesses? This takes time and research. Sometimes it also means spending a bit more money or going to multiple stores instead of getting everything from one place. Sometimes it means going shopping in person instead of having items delivered. You know your life, do what makes sense for you. This is something that fluctuates in our house.

For example. We recently moved to a new city. I’m still figuring out about household cleaners and where to buy them. For a time we got all of our cleaners at Target. I recently switched to Blueland and Force of Nature. Both have to be shipped. Blueland has long(er) shipping times, and I try to order a haul to save on shipping costs and emissions. Sometimes I run out of Blueland products and need something quick, or I don’t have the money upfront for a full haul (it’s expensive!) Some of their products are sold at Target and on Amazon. No, I don’t want to support Target or Amazon, but sometimes I just need my toilet cleaner and hand soap. I could make them, but I prioritize cooking from scratch and have yet to manage cooking from scratch, making household cleaners, and making my own beauty products. I have to outsource on a budget. This brings me to the elephant in the room.

Convenience

A lot of the time my shopping habits reflect my need for convenience. I homeschool 3 active children, we commute 45min away twice a week for activities. I am a writer, podcaster and content creator. Our life is full and busy. The kids don’t like shopping (unless toys and treats are involved of course) so our 2x a week grocery shopping trip is always a big deal and always a trigger point. I have multiple things on my mind, PRICES, ingredients, packaging and convenience. I want to make healthy choices, I don’t want to be stuck to my kitchen, I don’t want a lot of food waste, and I’m mindful of the packaging things come in. That’s ALOT to think about on top of what am I actually cooking and preparing, how many stores do I need to drag my kids through (children behavior) , and after hours of shopping am I going home to cook? This is why conversations around shopping, buying power and convenience are loaded and nuanced. Start small and do what you can, as you can.

But what about clothes and things?

I’ve spent a good deal of time discussing food and cleaning products because those are things we all NEED and I’m honestly not a huge shopper. However, it would be a disservice to not address other kinds of shopping. This is why I started the conversation with a disclaimer. I, in no way, want you to feel like you have to throw away all your stuff, quit your hobbies, sell off your collections, and have blank beige walls with two chairs. Instead, we should really take the time to consider the WHY of a purchase BEFORE we hit buy. Are we buying something we need, something we want, something that is useful? Or are we buying something because it’s trendy or because we are filling an emotional void? Reuse, Repurpose, Mend and buy secondhand what you can. Buy with intention. If you really want that bag and you’ve thought about it and know why you’re getting it, buy it! The point here isn’t to judge yourself but to understand yourself and stop mindless buying. I love seasonal decor. I have totes in our basement for every season and reuse decor each year. I also do crafts with the kids and use crafts as decor. There is no reason to throw away and rebuy every year, but if I’m really feeling it, I might add one or two new things. I try to find it secondhand instead of buying something new.

Fast Fashion is a HUGE conversation that I think would be best to write about in it’s own post. I’m working on it. For now, see if you can buy secondhand or make yourself. Mend rips and tears. Learn how to do laundry properly (trust me, I’ve struggled in this department) When buying something new opt for long lasting, high quality items. Building a capsule wardrobe takes time and money. Do your best, don’t judge yourself.

Basically, take your time with evaluating your spending habits and making a plan for changes. This is a lifelong journey.

Thank you for following along on our journey. Feel free to comment down below with your thoughts and questions :-)

Im sitting next to our cold fireplace, sipping coffee as my kiddos laugh and giggle in the next room. Fall weather came slow to North East Ohio and the chill has finally set in. I suppose I could turn on the heat. I’m supposed to be drafting. I finally finished outlining the second half of my book, got Scrivener organized and ready to go. As I started drafting this morning I realized that I’m supposed to be weaving magic into the story. I’m working on a scene were the magic should be barely hidden, right beneath the surface. It’s a zero draft, which for me means it’s all dialogue and plot. So I haven’t really been worried about the magic yet. However, it’s not lost on me that the magic in my life has gone cold. I’m a witchy catholic/spiritualist if I need to choose labels. My altars haven’t seen a lit candle in months and I haven’t sat down to pray or meditate in an embarrassingly long time. The corners of my home are dusty and I haven’t used a floor wash once since we moved into this house. I like to think that my home is my sacred space, my family’s personal chapel. I haven’t been worshipping here or making medicine or magic here. I’ve been too depressed. Next month will mark a year of us living in this house. The move was fast, rough and stressful. I never did a proper spiritual cleansing of the space. The first 6months I was really good about sitting at my altar, burning incense and lighting candles daily. The kitchen was used to medicine making somewhat regularly but I never caught the magic. Instead, everything has felt new and overwhelming.

I’ve been doing the bare minimum lately. Barely taking care of myself. But I am doing my best. I found a therapist and I’m on the schedule. I found a doctor, a new anti-depressant prescription starts today and my blood work is scheduled so I can have my thyroid checked (finally). I’m getting a text reminder to schedule with a psychiatrist as I type this. Things are happening.

This year my birthday landed on the Full Moon & Solar Eclipse the day before the Equinox. Breaking things wide open. Samhain is right around the corner. I’m ready to reclaim my magic just like the people in my book. One step at a time, I am making the promise to myself to live the life I want to live. I know this won’t happen over night. But I’m going to try and reimagine what a magical life looks like for me and my family. I truly believe that if I can dream it, I can make it a reality. My dreams are powerful prayers to God. I’ve been praying, dreaming and manifesting all my life.

If you battle with depression too, you are not alone. Take baby steps like I am and get the help that you need. Don’t suffer alone.

Thank you for listening,

Anyway, I thought I would just give it a try. I set a timer for 15min and wrote the first thing that came to mind. I didn’t revise it. Wanna try? Comment below with your flash fiction!

The prompt:

Write the story of the storm in 3 postcards. First one is before a climate event. second is during. third is after. Think about who’s writing the postcards. Who are they writing to? Pay attention to the after: what is life like? what storm impacts linger?

Hi Mama. I can’t believe how hot it’s been this fall. By now, I’d usually be contemplating putting on the heat but my air conditioning unit is still sitting in the window. I’m sick of the heat. My porch pumpkins are gonna rot so fast this year and I have to water my mums every other day or they wilt. Anyway, I miss you and Daddy. I hope you guys are enjoying your time on the West Coast. Will you make it home for Thanksgiving?

-Love You always, Janelle

Mama. I pray you’ll never have to read this, but if you are, know that I love you both so much. The wind is horrendous. I’ve already heard windows shattering upstairs and I pray to God I’ll survive this storm so I can hold you in my arms again. It feels crazy to be writing right now, but I need something to keep me sane. There’s so much I still want to do with my life. I don’t want to die here alone in this basement. I want you and Daddy to know how much I love you and how sorry I am for all the trouble I ever gave you in my lifetime. You were the best parent’s I could ever ask for. None of us are perfect, but you both worked so hard for me to have the life I wanted.

-Love you always, Janelle

Hi Mama! I’m working to get the house fixed up before you guys get here. Power is still out in town but I’m thankful Daddy talked me into buying that generator. Our neighbors have really come together, taking care of each other. Lucy lost her house and she’s been staying here with me. Even though I enjoy the company, I just feel terrible that she has to start over again. She worked so hard to buy that house, and the insurance company isn’t helping. Not even a little. Shit, our insurance isn’t much better. I have to pay for the windows to be replaced. The garage is gone. But I’m alive. I’m still standing. For that, I’m forever grateful. When I was in that basement, worried that I wouldn’t make it, I thought of you and Daddy and everything you’ve done for me. I promise to do all the things I was scared I’d never get to do. I’m gonna make something out of the rest of the time I have left. Anyway, stay safe Mama.

-Love you always, Janelle

This was a nice creative break from my WIP. Do you write flash fiction? Let me know in the comments.

Welcome to our regenerative living series! Today, we are discussing Holistic Health.

If you missed the first few posts in the series check them out here: The Importance of Local Community, Transforming Your Mindset, What is regenerating living?

Holistic Health

I know first hand that sometimes living a sustainable lifestyle is packaged in a way that reflects able minded and able bodied people. Now, I’m going to do my best to use the right kind of language here but please bare with me if (and when) I make mistakes. I’m still learning the proper terminology. In my personal experience there have mainly been 2 reasons that I need to take a step back from some of my eco-friendly habits and routines.

1. Mental Health

   and/or

2. Physical chronic illness

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, mild ocd and adhd. These things are complex and interconnected, and while I am high functioning, it is running on a loop in my life. When I am depressed, things just don’t get done. When my adhd is raging I struggle with systems that on any other day would be regular routine. Since my 4yo was born I’ve been through a rotation of doctors trying to figure out why I’m unwell. Daily exhaustion and fatigue, difficulty loosing weight, mental fog, muscle inflammation and joint pain. This too, contributes to my ability to do things from day to day. This is my story but with such a high percentage of us dealing witch chronic mental and physical illness, I know there are many stories to tell. Why is this relevant? Well, single use disposable options were created to lessen the amount of work we have to do in a day. I can spend 20-30min after each meal plus an hour or so at the end of the day washing and putting away dishes or I can use paper plates and plastic utensils. Most of the time, doing dishes is a minor annoyance but something that I just do. When I’m depressed dishes will quickly pile up. We are a homeschooling family of 5. Our 3 boys eat 3 meals a day plus snacks in between meals. That’s a lot of dishes. One day they will take on a portion of the cleaning, and sure they do “help”, but for now they are relatively young. We don’t use paper towels or napkins in our home. Instead we use cloth alternatives for napkins and cleaning. That means extra laundry. Laundry is a thing for me anyway, I don’t know why I let it pile up instead of doing the recommended one load a day but that’s what I do. When I’m feeling good I stress out and spend an entire day (or two) catching up on laundry. When I’m depressed we buy paper towels and napkins. If I’ve been feeling extra fatigued or having joint pain it also makes it more difficult for me to commit to the “extra work”. I say “extra work” because while using disposables eases my own load, its costs money to buy and it costs energy, labor and extraction of resources to produce. Not to mention it will sit in a landfill. These choices carry an invisible load that is detrimental to our Earth and society.

What does all of this mean?

It is true that we must give ourselves grace, understand our limitations, and try not to compare to the next person. It is also true that we must do our best. I understand that in low times I need to readjust until I’m feeling well again. I have to take care of myself. That doesn’t necessarily mean spending a lot of money on health related tech or gym subscriptions. It means eating foods that nourish my body, prioritizing movement, taking my vitamins, spending time with loved ones, and enjoying fresh air and sunshine. It can also mean going to therapy, starting medication when needed and setting clear boundaries. It can mean asking for help and leaning into community. While it might seem that these things are unrelated to living a sustainable lifestyle, it is essential if we are going to do this work.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Everyone’s capacity is different and that capacity can change from season to season. As hard as it may be, try not to compare yourself to others. While one person may have access to backyard compost or a local composting service others may not. If you aren’t able to compost, don’t judge yourself and pick something else to focus on. If you are able to compost, don’t jump to judge those that aren’t. Composting is just one example of many. When I was pregnant with my third child, we lived in an apartment with one car. I was very depressed and my body was in a lot of pain. We didn’t have access to an affordable local compost service and I couldn’t stay on my feet long enough to cook most of our meals. We produced a lot of waste during that season of life. I could have considered myself a failure and quit, but instead I was patient with myself and made a plan for the future.

Do what you are capable of doing for today or this week. Over time the rest will sort itself out, as long you continue to grow keep an open mind.

Thank you for following along on our journey! Feel free to comment below with your thoughts or questions! :-)

Hello Friends,

I don’t usually come to my substack in the early hours of my day. I’m usually working diligently on my novel. I felt a shift yesterday. Today, it’s 7:43am. I cracked. I barely wrote any words. I don’t know where I’m at with this story and I don’t know where I’m going. I have reached the dreaded messy middle. I didn’t see it coming because I’m only on Chapter 9 and well, this doesn’t feel like the actual middle of anything. Nonetheless, I’m stuck in the weeds of this story.

I’m a plotter. I have a very intense outline and then I have a template for each new chapter. Before I started the first draft, I sent my outline to a writer friend (thanks Jim!) and he suggested some changes. As I started drafting, those changes came naturally to me and I found myself pantsing 5-6 chapters that were not in my original outline. How fun to discovery write! How exciting to throw words on the page! A cast of characters came out of me, and it became clear that the direction of the whole series was shifting. That’s fine, I can be flexible right? I made adjustments in my mind and developed a new understanding for the story. I kept drafting. But now. I’m so far gone from my outline that I no longer have a guiding light. Drafting feels impossibly scary, anxiety filling, and my adhd is NOT helping. Hello executive dysfunction.

I realized this morning I need to do a reverse outline for what I already have in the draft, and then create a new outline based on the changes in direction I am going in. I am the creator of this story and it’s up to me to clear the weeds and shine some light onto things. Meanwhile I have another really shiny story idea tugging at my brain, begging for my attention.

Authors, how do you do it? Are you working on multiple books at a time? Are those books connected or completely different? The thought of having to start the outlining process all over is daunting, though I have a feeling that it really won’t be that bad once I start. There’s just no way I can get it done within my 30-45min window of morning writing time. I need a library desk, no kids, and 3-4hrs to focus on such an endeavor. Perhaps I can do it this weekend.

Anyway, thank’s for listening.